7th december 2008
rainy
Dear Diary,

im finally writing to you again. it seems that after a whole string of recent events, i dont really know who to talk to. not that i dont have friends, but just that... its like, i cant really explain what happens at church to someone from school simply cos they wouldnt get it.

speaking of church anyways, cell and service this week was awesome, something which i havent said in a long time. ive been doing a whole lot of mopeing and emoing and generally yoshing about, but this week's ministries have ultimately been put by god to smack some sense into me(:

i need to get a grip on life, seriously. i have to start on my holiday homework and my other plus+one's. next year is the crucial year. i know that in my head, but im quite afraid to actually go ponder on what it really means. sometimes, i wish i could retain and stay in sec 3 again, and maybe relearn everything and do it properly this time. i know its not fair of me to say this cos there are people who retain but dont want to, but i guess im just the strange one here in this crowd:/ or is it perfectionism? eitherway, i have to get this mental block out!! i keep feeling like im gonna fail, that i cant do it, that i'll crash out in life and be a junkie. sigh. not that singapore has much tolerance for them.

how do people study, really?
as in, what motivates them to start mugging all of a sudden when u reach home after church or something? its just .... sigh. grouching me): i have issues with my head): maybe i need a psychiatrist. what do you think diary? oh dear, im talking to a rock now! * haha. im sure yixuan understands that:D


lots of love,
THE UNDESCRIBABLE VEGETABLE(:





FUN FUN FUN!! thats what i want but not what i need (or can afford to have). there's only three weeks left till school reopen.

OMG OMG SHIT. THREE WEEKS!!!!!! SHIT FUCK FUCK!! D:

okay sorry. it kinda just hit me:/


so so somuch to do next/this week.
monday: double prayer meeting in the morning, then the new zealand poster-design project at laura's house. go to mari-ali-poo's house if theres still time left and all):

tuesday: start of a 4-hour tuition marathon!! whoo hoo. im soooo excited, i cant find words to convey my enthusiasm. 'saddening' might just suffice. physics then amaths, and worst of all it wont be with my darling Mr Koh D: no one to tease! for four hours straight!!! i think i will die. then well if im still half-heart-beating, i'll go to sherylls house and finish the bloody oil painting. giving yixuan dolly-like eyes might just, JUST, cheer me up:D

wednessday: start of THE SAME 4-hour tuition marathon!! whoo hoo. im soooo excited, i cant find words to convey my enthusiasm. 'sardonic' might just suffice. physics then amaths, and worst of all it wont be with my darling Mr Koh D: no one to tease! for four hours straight!!! I think i will die. well xingying promised to call and crap in the afternoon...

thursday: oh gosh. same thing. 4-HOUR-AMATH-PHYSICS-TUITION-MARATHON!! im being really sarcastic here if no one can tell. nothing special on thursday, im planning to just sleep right through until dinner the minute i reach home.

friday: same thing... too tired to type out sarcastic stuff. TUITION. then, im going out with xingying and matt (maybe, or i'll just let them go together and do all the PG13 things in private):D hahah.


what do you think of my week?
REEEEAAALLY INTERESTING HUH?
hahaha -forced laugh- hardly any perks to look forward to): why isnt anybody around anyway? rachys at bintan, and i bet matt is still enjoy his retarded holiday. siiiiiigh. dinner last night with (about half) the cg was fun, we went to eat ice-cream (what crappy dinner is that?!?!?!) and i ate chicken rice later, much to everyones amusement. but like, i find the need to have a furfilling nutritious meal very important((((((((:


well okay im sick of typing. before i end off, this is something Dr John Avanzini told us about Albert Einstein said that struck me today.

"if your idea isnt totally ridiculous,
its not worth bothering with." - A.E.

this statement really encouraged me cos being in art itself is quite un-normal (as the aunties secretly say), and ive been doubting my future alot lately. singaporeans typically stick to the safe path of math and science, and art as an o'lvl subject is a risky thing. even though i know this not exactly a revelation-revelation, but who am i to say i cant dream big? the more ridiculous, the better:D