Saturday, June 13, 2009
♥ 11:29 PM
YAY MARIA LOVES HANKYUNG TOO! ^0^
(NOT LIKE SHE'S GOT A CHANCE OF STEALING HIM FROM ME)BUT YAY, IM NOT THE ONLY HANKYUNG FAN IN THE WORLD!
FROM RACHY'S NEWLY PUBLIC LJ... A GUIDE ON,
how to exercise.
in the general area of exercising there are several different sections – weights, cardio and the special section in which you come into the gym dressed like you're going to run three miles, lift a ton and do a million sit ups and then leave having done nothing and nobody is the wiser.
to do weights you need a certain amount of presence, but not so much that everyone looks at you and laughs when you strain and pant and groan just to lift the first plate off the stack machine. it doesn't matter if you haven't lifted weights before in your life, but you need to be able to step into the room and your aura should tell everybody you can lift a hundred kilograms with ease so that nobody looks at this newcomer expecting a good laugh when he or she falls over backwards trying to balance the weight of a bicep curl. also, every respectable gym will have a weight machine with the nasty habit of throwing on pounds when you're not looking. the scale will tell you you're lifting two kilograms but as you look away so you can start lifting (the weight machine is cleverly designed so you can never keep an eye on the exact weight you're lifting) it quickly tosses on another four, then as you drop the bar in exhaustion it tugs the extra weight away easily so you can puzzle yourself as to whether you are really as weak as you look. the fun part is, after you go home and wake up the next day, you realise you can't move your arms because you've overexerted the poor buggers.
as for cardio, you need to tell yourself how much you want to lose those pounds. then you step onto the treadmill, run for thirty seconds, realise how tiring it is and then step off. immediately feel guilty and repeat cycle. depending on the speed at which you can hop on and off the treadmill you may actually feel like you're getting rid of that spare tyre,
but at the same time you will gain in bad reputation what you lose in fats. (OMG!! HAHAHAHA!!)
the gym regulars will come to think of you as the retard who can't make up their mind and after your third session either call in the security guard to watch you every time you come in or take the easy way out and issue a restraining order.
--unfinished, will finish later--
