i like, where we are, Here.

Friday, August 28, 2009

♥ 3:38 AM

i wish i had more time. more time with you all, everyone! more time to just... exist. no, living like this does not constitute as living, barely. your physical needs are met but your brain is tamped shut.

FINALLY, blogger is working again!
i can upload random pictures after... FOREVER. I DONT KNOW. i saved short codes, but not enough to host images. baah.

this is my half-break i guess:D busy rushing my art prep! its almost as bad as the O level questions already, only i guess.. not as intense, yet. gosh, i am such an ASDF. im attempting to finish 9 month's worth of work into two weeks. suicide or what? Heavens above! but i guess this is quite the everyday miracle in art:D
(.... and im ranting, sorry. stop me again if i am.)

short updates for now! its 1:45 am, not that its late for me, but ive got a long day tmr!!! 8D
me and val have this insane plan to go traipsing around orchard, from far east to plaza sing. on the scavenger's list:

(1) visit Gramophone! check out their stores of korean CDs (if any... :S) vally wants to find BIGBANG! lol. she's obsessed again.

(2) Borders Bookstore! heard about a legendary spin-off -
PRIDE & PREJUDICE & ZOMBIES.
hahahah. the name says it all. (btw, this really does exist. 20th century gothic novel. cant beat that, you faggoty twilight!) Got the tip-off from a really random source, Status magazine. (click on Pg 22) which is actually only sold in Indonesia. its amazing the things you can find online, really... (8

(3)FIND A WIG SHOP. lol kay this is kind of hard to explain. dont ask. 8D

(4) Get jade, maria and emme a present! all at once... ;-; bah. going broke. Since apparently the rest of the world cant find the time to shop all of a sudden and so they're forcibly sharing presents with me. Maria's name is only there cos she saw my SUPER-LONG-AGO birthday present for val and demands one as well. (for proof of my love, huh??? DONT THINK I DONT KNOW MARIA:D) and emme cos its her birthday this sat.

yup that's all for now! actually, i have loads i'd love to tell you guys... only its so hard to type this shit out on the net. im sure when i meet you, i'll be telling you anyway. MOST OF IT. HAHAHAH. the blog is for the boring rants! (which you should skip if you know what's good for you.)

k going to sleep now, hopefully. waking up early to get a head-start on shopping, with val!!
YEAH MAN, FINALLY OUT THE HOUSE.

(:

ps, XUAN IF YOU ARE READING THIS. i still have the bloody 4-page letter! YOUR REPLY FROM BEFORE THE PRELIMS. man, how am i supposed to give it to you! ARGH!! no, i wont be arsed to climb the bloody hill up school just to give it to you. i suppose you'll just have to wait for sat, ehhh? MUAHAHAHA.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

♥ 1:03 AM

oh my goodness. there should be a contest for the funniest OOC fic!!

here anyway, LOOK AT THIS. OMG.

********************************************
Hermione had spent the day hiding from Snape and crying like a lovesick teenager. She had been quite angry with herself for the way she’d acted. Now, however she was angry at Snape.

With Draco under the influence of the infatuation potion, and Snape and Ginny drunk off their asses, it was left up to her to apparate them all to the Burrow. Not an easy feat, even for a witch as talented as Hermione. But she’d been able to do it without splinching anybody.

It wasn’t fair that Snape got to drown himself in his sorrows while she had to remain the designated apparator.

It was just their luck that every single one of the Weasley brothers along with Harry had chosen tonight to go to the Burrow for dinner.

Molly had been surprised when she opened the door, but had quickly ushered them in, eyeing Professor Snape warily after he told her that she was a nice lady, who made very good pudding.

“Look who’s here,” she announced leading them into the small kitchen/dining room that was packed with men.

The only thing that stopped the guys from jumping Draco was that there wasn’t enough room to move. They all started yelling at once.

“NO! There’s too much red!” Snape wailed, covering his eyes with his hands and ducking behind Hermione.

Silence.

Molly shook her head at him, and then turned to the table of angry men.

“Honestly! We’ve already talked about Draco being an Order member, and I expect everyone one of you to treat him with respect,” she said, glaring.

They began to protest, but Molly held up her hands.

“The next one to yell at him will be sent to bed without dessert!”

They all turned to look at the chocolate pudding, debating whether it would be worth it.

It got quiet again as the men at the table silently glared at Draco, deciding not to risk their dessert.

Suddenly, Ginny blurted out, “Draco and I are getting married!”

“What?!” Molly yelled at Draco in a rage.

Snape giggled and wagged a finger in her face.

“No pudding for Molly!”

Then he laughed like he’d said the funniest thing in the world.

After a minute of realizing he was the only one laughing, he stopped and pouted.

“I have no friends.”
************************************

HAHAHAHA. RIGHT-O. LOL OKAY NOW GO FORTH AND BE SCARRED FOR THE REST OF YO' MISERABLE LIVES! :D

Monday, August 24, 2009

♥ 10:42 PM

LOL. OKAY.
watching pearlyn + jarrad vs mao& gang slug it out on cyberspace is rather disturbing.
albeit stupid. reminds me of when me and gen used to do that too. seriously, ask those who were around then - kenneth, esther, julie, yixuan.

you guys are all amateurs, really.
quoting scripture?! HA. that's a deadend for sure. people have been arguing over it for centuries without conclusion. you'll just be labelled as heretics (and rightly so, i believe. i can almost see you foaming at the mouth as you claim divine powers or whatever) and carted off to the assylum.

anw, this is what i feel.

JARRAD, IF YOU WANNA LEAVE THEN JUST GO LA! no one's going to stop you with pearlyn around, i think that's quite clear now. if you cant decide and are waiting for someone give you a kick in any general direction then i suggest you bloody make up your mind like a man and at least go somewhere, or i will give it to you. take pearlyn and get a move on with life, find a church that agrees with you, but stop dithering and arguing with everyone!

really. some people have too much free time to pms on the world. if you gotta do your thing, then just go and do it! dont loiter around like an unfed hen. stand by your choice and learn to grow up.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

♥ 9:24 PM

just when i thought i could have a little respite..

hell.
why do i even hope.

you wanna know what plagues me, when im alone at night, trying to sleep in the dark?!!!

imagine you are on huge, magnificent cruise liner, silently gleaming, lights ablaze, like a jewel in the dark. its sailing in the middle of the atlantic, all you see are endless blues. you think its surreal, so peaceful, there's nothing that can get you out here...

when it strikes you. there is NOTHING. no one. you're alone on a ship in the middle of vast nothingness. suddenly, you reallise that something's wrong with the ship! its tilting to its side. no, its sinking. it is going down. you see the windows on one side slowly submerging below the dark water. the lights start to flicker and then the lower levels go out in sections. you rush madly to the port, then starboard. as the ships sinks lower you find yourself trapped on the stern next to the masthead, the highest point left as the deck starts flooding.

there is not a soul on the huge silent ship except for you. there is no other light or ship in the surrounding miles of darkness, no where you can swim to. as the ship begans to break apart, you're forced to watch its lights dissapear bit by bit, feel the metal groan and buckle beneath as the weight of the water crushes more of it. you've got no where to run. you cant swim forever. jumping off is not an option. agonizingly slowly, you're being forced to watch yourself drown, trapped on a ship in a nightmare you cannot wake from.

that is how i feel. you forget its there, on a bright noisy day. but when youre alone at night... life is one huge oceanliner, and im stuck on it. pretty though it be, its full of flaws which let in water. (i cant run) and i cant even kill myself cos i dont wanna jump off into the sea of hell. its as if obligation ties me to stay on the ship. i cannot run from this life. all i do is conjure more illusions that the ship isnt sinking and im on land afterall.. but we're going down and i cant stop the feeling. the holes in this ship are irreparable events that i cannot control, as more of my dearest friends drift off to the deep, unreachably gone, and as the few i have left get hurt by the icy waters. i cant protect them, so i force my face into a pleasant lie and hope my misery will not add to theirs.

after today though, life has just gotten more cruel. i used to think that if i were to watch myself drown, i could at least buy time in my dreams and keep squeezing a few more weeks, telling myself i'd be strong. but now, i have an exact date when my life will end. On that day, i'll loose reason to struggle, after im sure ive lost everyone dear.

I will let go of that ghost ship, and find eternal rest in the Elysium on Earth, beneath the cold waves where the ice bites but covers and no one needs to feel anything.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

♥ 1:14 AM

MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

ITS IN THE MIDDLE OF PRELIMS, BUT I DONT CARE

PHYSICS WAS EASY AS SHITTTT!!!!!!!!!

AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA

RIGHT-O.

ENGLISH ORAL WAS BREEZE TOO! 8D
REALLY! i just ate like, half a packet of ~~van houten's~~ before it started.
i could feel the sugar and caffeine rushing around my veins when i was waiting for my turn... hahahahah. it was actually fun, talking nonsense to those examiners. i know they love it too. ^w^

OLD MAN TEACHER: so, tell me what 'city-life' means to you.
ME: OH. makes me think of Desperate housewives and Sexs and the City.
(you could see his eyes buldge. apparently i forgot im not supposed to behave like an art student who's used to liberal pictures and offensive themes.)

(some time later, after i was rambling how city life may not be so good cos it encourages greediness and some people just dont know where to stop climbing and be contented and okay i should stop confusing you all now-)

OLD MAN TEACHER: but what if these people actually like their jobs?
ME: well, my dad likes his job alot too. esp when the big deals go through. but sometimes i feel he gets too stressed over it- on some days, he'll come home and tell me if he had another choice, he dreams of being a farmer.
(its true. sadly.)

SO YES, ORAL WAS BLAST! i tell you, its what's most toleratable about exams. of course, after one line of extreme blasphemy i'll quickly mix in some logical, mature reasoning and several useful quotes. then they'll look at me approvingly and score me higher. generally, a bit of peakiness in a whole lot of regurgitated textbook always does the trick.
:)

right, i wanna go and enjoy my night now! :) my first night of slacking because all my major papers are over. Did an Emath and Amath paper today, paper 1s for both! im so hardworking. HAHAHA OKAY WELL TILL NEXT TIME...

THE PAST WEEK(S):
chem was screwed up.
barely finished lit and didnt for ss.
amath is a liability.
emath was suspiciously easy.
physics was a delectable fart of fresh air.
art was almost perfect.
randomly, i got a commendation award.
seems like im evenly balanced out... heh.

i wish i had more dreams.
those that i do get i rarely remember, unless they involve people i know.
then... (blush) its always SOMETHING REALLY NICE. sweet. i wake up with a
smile on my face, for the rest of the week. but i only had like...
two of those. ever. i really need another soon.

*`*`*`*`*`*`*

(WARM BLUE)
you know how it is, when you're in love you just cant sleep?
its cos your reality's finally better than in your dreams.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

♥ 5:31 PM

“You can’t take your eyes off her,” Blaise said, her soft remark easily cutting through his sarcasm. “She smiles, and you melt. She laughs and you’re as good as a puddle. She cries and you become suicidal. She looks at Potter and you become apoplectic. She talks to any boy who isn’t you and you turn satanic.” He tried to protest, but she shook her head. “Forget it, you poor, miserable sod. Remember who you’re talking to.”

HAHAHAH OKAY ITS SHIZ LIKE THIS THAT BRIGHTEN MY SODDING DAY.

♥ 12:39 AM

for art prep, i was searching google for deep sea caves... when a picture of saddam hussein came out -.- hur hur. google can get kinda random o_o but if this is some political joke, i dont get it.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

♥ 12:06 AM

Take That- Rule the World
Uploaded by Stella78. - Explore more music videos.

new song, so whatareyouwaitingfor - fave and rave it! its a closing sound track from the Stardust movie.

ps, the sound doesn't really start till 20 seconds into the movie, so um yeah. dont go all frantic and adjust your sound settings just yet:D

so anw, I just watched stardust on HBO!!! (8
dont know why im such a sucker for these films... its just the magic dust about them that makes you fall in love with it, you know?? (nod even if you dont.)
ah heck, i think i'll love anything that neil gaiman touches.
-SANDMANCOMICSOMG-

kay, dont know why i fall so hard for these ... different, eccentric things. i have really diverse tastes, somehow i find myself attracted to the most queer and rare objects.

OH WELL. :D

since blogger's recent shitty crash, ive been forced to ferret through my older posts for codes on how to colour and font-change. its so awfully cumbersome and time consuming, but its gotta be done. still, while i was looking through some of my last year/month's posts, i came across this one -

AMATH WAS SOOOOO SUCKY!!! ARGH!!
DIE. DIE. DIED.
im in a royally beastly mood.
"...three words who popped up the most frequently were SHIT! DIE! and FAIL!"

WELL SAID MARIA DEAR. i swear, the minute the paper was over, 'fail' was on everyone's lips. how glorious. i think i panicked and screwed up all my questions, im pretty sure i'll get a single digit and counselling for the rest of this year.

its like during the entire amath paper, my mind kept screaming,
'ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!'

HAHAHA.now that i look back upon it, the situation doesnt seem to be as terrible as i thought it to be.
i still hate amath,
but i think ive actually improved,
even if it was just to spite mr lee..
though now, its exam time again, and im just as gloomy, but i cant help think - what if im naturally pessimistic and love making the worst out of things? i know ive explained this to angel, but we cant make heads or tails of this either. bah, humbugs! ~~just when i was feeling happy :D~~

ANW, TODAY WAS FUN!
did stupid thing in the canteen instead of studying. amanda, vallums, me and xuannicakes ended up talking and wasting time instead. we only did... ONE BLOODY CHAPTER OF SS! and then we ran onto the main road (deserted) and started playing ball. ITS STRESS I TELL YOU. i dont know why ive become so juvenile, playing with toys and all these hand-clappy games! its fun, but i think im loosing my mind.

[...or too much vitamin C? ms lau actually gave us a long tube of sucking pestles for our exam-present, but the four of us + tiffy ate the whole lot up this afternoon. we're bound to get diarrhoea and brain fever, too much nutrients i tell you.]

but before i go, i'll like to close with this song that's kind of been in my head. it only seems appropraite, due to the past few days:/ hahah. as the swedes say,

halvsanning halva-tanke
dess stallbild per avoidable framtid.

i'll love to put its video here, its so much better...
but i have a strict policy of one vid per post.
i cant stand people who just spam me with videos,
though i put up with it:/

its for YOU, love!

I dreamed I was missing
You were so scared
But no one would listen
Cause no one else cared
After my dreaming
I woke with this fear
What am I leaving
When I'm done here
So if you're asking me I want you to know

[Chorus]

Don't be afraid
I've taking my beating
I've shared what I've made
I'm strong on the surface
Not all the way through
I've never been perfect
But neither have you
So if you're asking me I want you to know

[Chorus]
When my time comes
Forget the wrong that I've done
Help me leave behind some
Reasons to be missed
Don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory
Leave out all the rest
Leave out all the rest

Forgetting
All the hurt inside you learned to hide so well
Pretending
Someone else can come and save me from myself
I can't be who you are
I can't be who you are

Monday, August 10, 2009

♥ 2:25 AM

i dont wanna loose another friend, i cant.
not for stupid reasons like this.
not because other people seem to think you arent worth saving...

ive been there too, and my friends wouldnt let me go, even when i begged for death.
its time we all became true friends, and do what is best for us, not what feels easiest.
i already lost a friend to this madness, i dont wanna loose another.

screw the devil.
may he experience the most painful of all - συγχώρεση.
im so irritated people can place their love for humans over their love for God. i'd let you learn from your mistakes but few are that strong, and i dont think you are one of them. and i cant afford to let you hurt me when you start blundering around.i know you'll come around soon, but im so tired of fighting this. what can i do? the minute i stop swimming, i'll drown. i dont wanna die just yet.

Sunday, August 09, 2009

♥ 5:05 PM

ANNOUNCEMENT I WENT BOOK SHOPPING WHOOOO!!!!! 8DDDD

hehe. Borders must be getting really desperate, saw twilight series there for like, $11 a book -.-

anw, bought $68 worth of books! MY DAY IS DONE :D
The Shi'a Revival - Vali Nasr
The ULITMATE fairies handbook
In Love with a serial killer (Paul John Knowles) series.
Atlas of the night sky - Giles Sparrow
and gen's SUPER-EX inspirational (actually more of bull-shit fuelled) daily diary of some sort:D BUT ITS SO FUNNY AHAHAHAHA.

okay anw.. yeah i know my choice of books are rather strange. even though i know you cant be bothered, i'll just rant about one book - the ShiA revival, here.

i picked up the SHiA Revival, cos its about muslim culture- the clash between the Sunni and the Shi'a muslims. It also touches on american foreign policy, and other modern day middle-east issues.
i think its rather important to know all that, even though i am not in any way, arab, or have a muslim religeon, nor will i ever be tested on this:) i just do not wish to be a hopeless bigot. i believe in an all-rounded knowledge, which includes a little background knowledge of Islam,
(shockingly) despite my Christian upbringing. its just that there is a glaring lack of resources or information on that topic in our (methodist-based) education. or maybe just in my school. but for so long, i've been trying to find books on other religeons or cultures in the school library. ive even checked in the restricted sections... but there doesnt seem to be any apart from the common preachy-sort of hand books on christianity.

i cant help but feel its as if... they're hiding all this (meaning: anything that doesnt concern christiany or goodliness or fluff) from us. there's not much on so-called 'extreme-topics' like war, racism, any riots, any thing on astromony, economics, politics or much philosophy either. its a nice spread... but its TOO SAFE and EXACTLY what they'd want girls to read, nothing less, but nothing more. sigh. must be edna's ultra-conservative pickings that cause us to be so... sheltered. ):

oh well, im done ranting. maybe someone can lend me something of interest, that isnt sold in bookshops or libraries:) i'd be most grateful.. haha.

meanwhile, what i'll be looking for is some neitzche or freud. :D those on dreams.. ahaha. i havent read any of those, but from what i heard it might be worth a look:)

Friday, August 07, 2009

♥ 12:36 AM

i find myself in the strangest situation yet...

(no, it doesnt involve maria)

somehow, im trying to explain to some 18 year old that YES people do bat in more ways than one, and NO we do not fill out forms before sexs. GAH CAN THIS BE ANYMORE AWKWARD?

thank god for msn.

and, hwa chong should really step up on its sexs ed. -o-

Sunday, August 02, 2009

♥ 1:21 AM

I WANNA LEARN RUSSIAN!

must be anna karenina and Tatu. hehe.
i wanna learn how to speak it. write it. to use it! its kind of like.. an acquired taste, you know? it was hard to even accept it in my books at first, but after awhile... :)
it kind of just, grows on you!
:D
it is still a very sexy language. hahaha.
(its the language of the fur hats, bombs, harsh winters and sexy women. rrrr!)
and im sure there are some very colourful swear words in there.
;)
but yeah that aside, i think it'll be cool. :)
& it'll be something different.

ANW BEFORE I LEAVE AND SLEEP....
here's something funny from the fanfiction world!

I was originally a Harry/Ginny fan, who (every once in awhile) Dipped into Draco/Ginny. But now, Draco/Ginny has become my OTP--since book 6 really. I just felt that JKR made it too easy for Harry. He just looked beside him one day and went "Oh! Ginny. Hey, I like you and you like me! Let's kiss" I loved the whole 'chest monster' thing--don't get me wrong. And Harry deserves a bit of happiness... but, I just feel that in real life, nothing is ever that easy.

And Draco is just such a FABULOUS BAD BOY that you just want to hug and squeeze him until hearts and flowers pop out of his ears! Not to mention, that our Dearest Ginny is very good at hugging and squeezing, lol.

hahahahaha. dont cry now, you stoic HPGW fans! i love a good AU:D HAHAHAHA ALRIGHT, IF YOU DONT GET IT AT ALL, JUST PRETEND IM SPEAKING RUSSIAN ALREADY.