Monday, September 28, 2009
♥ 2:42 PM
omg. crazy new plan to leech money. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS CRAP?
To: anazergal@hotmail.com
CC: tanshock@yahoo.com
Subject: $ rewards
From: tansh@sg.ibm.com
Date: Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:41:03 +0800
Maria
If you make these grades for your O Level finals,
I'm willing to incent you with these $.
Pls do your best.
Aggregate
12 - $50
11 - $100
10 - $200
9 - $400
8 - $800
7 - $1,000
Best regards,
*MR TAN* (AKA, DADDY DEAR. HER DAD IS BLOODY FORMAL, EVEN OVER PRIVATE EMAIL-.-)
HEH. ME AND POON WERE SHRIEKING SO LOUD IN OUTRAGE IM SURE THE CHANGI AIRPORT STAFF COULD HEAR US.
if i were maria, i'd bloody well make sure i get my 7+ points!! apparently her dad is really stressed (moreso than her) that she wont make it to some jc or whatever dumb
institution of higher learning. snort. i wish i had parents like that.
anway, veg: what the freak! how do you get parents like that!?
maria: training, dear. its all about conditioning them to
llllower their expectations! tell them from young not to expect much and reward more. works every time.
VEGGIE WOULD LIKE TO SAY SHE LOVES MARIA WITH ALL HER HEART AND WOULD GLADLY BEAR HER LOVE CHILD~
VEGGIE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT SHE DID NOT VERIFY THE GODFORSAKEN CRAP COMING OUT OF MARIA TAN GOON GAH YIN'S RUSTED COTTONS AND WOULD LIKE TO DISAGREE.
THE REAL VEGGIE WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT SHE WOULD ONLY KEEP MARIA'S BASTARD CHILD IF MARIA WOULD GIVE HER ALIMONY EVERY MONTH OF 12358183499329494184792081294738984731`8974992 WORTH OF GALLEONS. THE MINUTE SHE STOPS PAYING, THE KID GOES TO THAT RECLUSIVE ONLINE LOVER OF HERS WHO FEEDS MAMMALS TO HER 3-INCH SNAKE.
(maria, any comments?)
MUA MUA MUAK I WURVE MARIAAAAA
yep, definitely her. sounds just like the drool trickling from the mouth of jabba the hutt. droople.
(maria cannot further defend herself. she is currently vibrating helplessly in laughter while poon threatens us both with evisceration and exile.)
anyway. about o lvls. stress is seriously cracking our already-lost nuts for now. being with my gay male relatives - maria and poon - only do slightly to alleviate the condition (seeing as we share the same waveLENGTH). i have to write some bloody essay after this. toodles!(:
postscript: maria, if you grope me one more time, i swear i will do more than dislodge your kidneys. and yes, those ARE your kidneys. your stomach is not found in the left corner of your ribs.)
